The REAL Slytherin Heir
by FF Queen
Summary: Er...I don't know what this is...It's supposed to be a Harry Potter version of The Real Slim Shady by Eminem, but...It doesn't exactly fit to the song...Or rhyme for that matter...


The REAL Slytherin Heir  
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Dis: No, I don't own the tune, the original song or Harry Potter!  
  
A/N: Okay, so it isn't a fic, I know. And it doesn't exactly rhyme...But...  
  
  
  
Draco:  
May I have your attention please.  
May I have your attention please.  
Will the real Slytherin Heir please stand up?  
I repeat, will the real Slytherin Heir please stand up?  
Ok...We're going to have a problem here!  
  
Tom:  
Y'all act like ya never seen a Slytherin before  
Jaws all on the floor, when I just blasted down the door  
And started whipping Muggles' asses worse than before  
Y'all know I throw those Mudbloods over the limits  
It's the return of the...  
"Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding, he isn't the Heir as he says he is...IS he?"  
And Lily and James said...  
Nothing you gits! Their both dead, and y'all know that!  
And what about Harry?  
*tsk tsk* Harry Potter? God, am I sick of him!  
Look at him, goin' around, gettin' up to who-knows-what  
Defeating you-know-who, yeah, but he's so cute though!  
Yeah, I maybe only 16, true,  
But I'm the true Heir of Slytherin, just thought that I should warn you!  
Sometimes, I wanna get out of me Diary and let loose, but can't  
So how am I supposed to get the Mudbloods, by a possessed goose?!  
"The evils have escaped! The evils have escaped!"  
Heh, true true, I'm the one in the blackest of capes!  
And that's the message that I deliver to little kids,  
And expect them not to know what a Death Eater is,  
Of course they gonna know who the villan is,  
By the time they hit first year  
They go to Hogwarts don't they?  
"We ain't nothing but Wizards..."  
Well, some of us are Scorcer's and Mudbloods,  
Who duel just as much as I do,  
But if I can kill a lot of Mudbloods and the Potters,   
Then I'm doing everyone a favour, who said I was a rotter?  
But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote  
Death Eaters check the Mark, sing the chorus and it goes  
  
Chorus:  
I'm the Heir, yes I'm the real Slytherin Heir  
All you other imitation Heirs had better be prayin'  
So won't the real Slytherin Heir please stand up?  
Please stand up, please stand up  
  
Cuz I'm the Heir, yes I'm the real Slytherin Heir  
All you other imitation Heirs had better be prayin'  
So won't the real Slytherin Heir please stand up?  
Please stand up, please stand up  
  
Potter doesn't have to keep his powers hidden in,  
Well I do! So get over it and realize you don't have a clue!  
You think I give a damn 'bout him when he can't bear me?  
Most the time he can't even see me without feeling me!  
"But Tom, what if he didn't, wouldn't it be weird?"  
Why? So you Mudbloods could just lie to get me away from here,  
So you can say I'm just a kid, that I don't need to care?  
I'm tellin' you, Grindelwald, you better switch me chairs,  
So I can keep on givin' those MUdbloods the scares,  
And hear 'bout the git that lived under the stairs,  
You little Mudbloods, don't even try to mess with me!  
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he'll turn into Voldemort, hee-hee!"  
I say download the Chamber of Secrets and show the whole world  
how I almost killed that prat Ginny, don't you agree?  
I'm sick of you Gryffindors and Mudblood groups  
All you do is annoy me so I have been sent here to destroy you  
And there's a million imitation Heirs who are just like me  
Who threaten like me; who try to do what's wrong like me  
Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me  
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!  
  
Repeat Chorus  
  
It's like a head trip to watch me kill cuz I'm so fast I'm not in sight  
Doin' things you wish that you could do, sittin' in your local cinema  
The only difference is I got the power and wand to do it  
In front of y'all on the cinema screen; too bad you got no powers or wands at all  
I just get all pissed off and spill it and whether I like to admit it  
I killed Potter better than 99 percent of you wannabes could out there  
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these books like Pixie Sticks  
It's funny cuz at the rate I'm going when I'm 18  
I'll be the only person in the uni who'll be duellin'  
Getting rid of good when I'm bored; and I ain't going to be rest,  
I should feel sorry for the Mudbloods, but I never could!  
And every single bad guy knows that I should.  
Everyone says I'm twisted, true,  
But ya never know when I'll walk right over you.  
So true, true...  
So, will the real Slytherin Heir please stand up?  
And put the Mark on each arm up?  
And be proud to be outta ya mind and outta control  
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?  
  
Repeat Chorus  
Repeat Chorus 


End file.
